WHO R U- Mark Havener

An Ode to my Father:

If you know me than you know that my father is my idol. Since I can remember I have always held him on this pedestal---which is so deserved.

My dad has done everything awesome a dad could do times one billion without losing himself in the process. He coached tee-ball, little-league, helped me with any sport I was interested...and then when I proved to not really be a leader in terms of sports he supported me in anything else I wanted to take on. He just always wanted my sister and I to be interested in something passionately...although he would never say this of course.

My dad is passionate, but not in that sappy way that you would think. He is a lobsterman after all and like most lobsterman I know they want to keep appearances with their hard, rough exterior and keep their heart off of their sleeves. (news flash- watch any lobsterman with a daughter or any tough Maine guy in general and throw a daughter at them and watch them fall to pieces.)

Watching my dad as I grew up I wanted to do anything that he did- especially go out on the boat with him. I loved watching the traps come up and how he would get excited to show me certain creatures like: lumpfish, over-sized lobsters, hermit crabs. I suppose this is why I developed enough love for the ocean that I thought I wanted to be a Marine Biologist. My father was really and still is really into the fact that I have a degree in Marine Biology--- however my life has taken a different path and I made the switch from that to Baking. Some may find it weird but I don't. I always grew up with my dad who pursued what he wanted to do over making lots of money or doing something he didn't like. I just followed suite. I found my calling in breads, pies, and cakes- where as he found his in lobsters and the sea. It took him awhile to get over it, but I think he gets it now (plus I also inherited my sweet tooth from him so it's really his fault anyway.).

Being on the boat with my father always calmed me and it still does when I am freaking out--- I just think of being out there with him with the dark blue ocean and the green island and watching the colorful traps breaking through the waves and I just become at ease. We would/do talk about everything and nothing and there is never those awkward silences...there's just us and work and damn hard work at that. I am so incredibly proud of my father for what he does.

I could go on and on about my dad and all the reasons that he is so great.... but really it comes down to this: My dad will do anything for anyone without even thinking. He is quick to lend a hand, he feels bad for those less fortunate then himself, he will work himself to death before he will ask for help, or say no to someone who needs help...

For every quality/personality quirk that I see in myself or in my sister I think of him. The dry, sarcastic sense of humor, the quick wit, the anxiety ridden worry about small things, the instilled sense of hard work and equally as much play, the love of being alone- but also the love of being with good people, appreciation and love for the ocean and the overly big heart that gets us in trouble.

He is a good person, who has just as many if not more flaws than all the rest of us. He is not perfect, and he is not normal and that is why I adore him. He said to my sister once: “Why would you want to be normal, everyone is normal?” I can't say enough, or even to him how much he means to my sister and I and everyone who meets him. He may not have everything he every wanted out of this world but he has two daughters who can't picture what it would be like to not have him around, who worry about him on a continuous basis, and who love him.. every flaw and everything wonderful about him.

So on this father's day (which he thinks is a ridiculous holiday)- I would just like to thank the powers that be for letting him be Ash and I's father. We truly lucked out. And in the word's of Mark Havener :”That's Golden.”