It's rather warm out for November, a balmy 52 degrees-- the rain started pouring down a few hours ago. As usual my thoughts are on you little squirmy baby inside of me.
It's very hard for me to believe that I have made it 40 weeks, that any day now you could make your appearance and this amount of love that I has built up every minute I can finally express to you on the outside.
Every second that I have been scared about your well being---which has been since I found out I was pregnant with you will all be worth it. Every tear I cried, every time I layed my hand on my stomach to figure out where you were, every frustration of wondering if we would ever make it this far will all be over soon and I can finally have you in my arms.
I have had such a hard time letting myself believe that everything will work out and I will see you so very soon and you will be here with me. It's like I wouldn't let myself believe that I would be the receiver of such an amazing gift from God. My worry and love for you extends far beyond anything I have ever felt, and frankly it scares me to death. I would and will give up everything to have you be a healthy, happy, being. I promise to love you with every ounce of myself.
So as I sit here in these final few days of it just being me and your Dad---my brain and heart is somewhere else---I feel like I already know you. I feel like I see our lives together and I am so ready for them to start that my heart is going to burst out of my chest. Has anyone ever wanted someone as bad as i want you? Does every mother feel like this? I hope so.
Anyway dear squirmy one---I hope you make your appearance into this world soon as I am restless, and stuck in this in between spot of my old self and being a mother. I can't wait to meet you. I can't wait to kiss your face and count your fingers and be exhausted and tired for every good reason. I can't wait to see your Dad's face when he meets you. Ive been picturing you for so long. Please come out little one. I am so ready for you to be here.
