On my birthday, a reflection

I wanted to write something about this year, because I think birthdays are a good time for reflection...I had this whole post down about how incredibly thankful I am and relating it to a hundred different things.  But then I was outside today with Alden after a particularly frustrating morning ....We are sitting in the green grass with Tess Dog beside us and  he sticks this whole clover flower in his mouth and at that instant this huge gust of wind came up and blew his crazy hair all over and threw the leaves of the trees back and forth.  He gets this look in his eyes this kid when he is trying to figure out something but amazed with it at the same time.  He concentrates so hard and can't stop staring...and then he looks at me for me to give him some sort of emotion back on how he should be feeling and I just smile, and he smiles and then looks back at the wind rustling the trees.  And my heart explodes and every single happy nerve cell in my body feels like that tree waving back and forth... all from this 19 lb being sitting on the grass in front of me.  That is my year right there.  There was all kinds of things that were hard, and so many that have been so great.  But Alden has helped to  remind me to chill out when I am frustrated and rediscover things I forgot about :  Wind, sand on feet, summers first berries, Pinwheels, happy dancing, how awesome his Dad is, how every human deserves a big smile, nature, how to be silly, and how to love rawly, truly, deeply without hesitation. 

I am 30 years old today, and I no longer  focus on how old I am but I just watch this boy growing every day and developing into this little creature with a huge attitude.  And I overflow with gratitude even on days when I want to pull my hair out because I am so overwhelmed.  World has been brighter for me since he arrived in the beginning of winter, and it truly has been the best 7.5 months of my life.