Winter I hate you.

I can appreciate a snowy day....walking through the woods in snowshoes peering up at the trees all sparkly and white.
Today is 2 degrees.  My mind can't make sense of this....2 degrees is that even possible?  -15 windchill---is that real?

Yeah sure the walk is pretty---the ice chunks in the water---frozen harbor with sea smoke.
But really FU sea smoke.  FU ice chunks.  I would rather be swimming in you after laying on the beach soaking up the rays.
I would rather get my Vitamin D from the sun then in tablet form or sitting under some expensive Mood light-bulb.
I would love to be sitting outside with a beer in hand on the green grass at 7pm.
Not curled up, or rather sitting on top of the woodstove---procrastinating going out to fetch more wood.  Afraid my hands might fall off.... remember when I walked outside in my shorts and tank top...barefoot???  If I did this now I would stick to the ground.  I would cry without even knowing from the cold.   My nostrils frozen....no one should ever have to have frozen nostrils.

FU winter. 
Thank you for keeping me inside with the chocolate treats.....instead of walking by the seashore.  Thanks for the winter weight!  Remember when I was tan?  Its hard to believe looking down at my ghastly white skin...dry.  But I mean there's fun things like nosebleeds from it being so dry out...and everyone loves falling on ice...cause the ground is so soft this time of year of course.  And the flu----a perfect excuse to watch movies in between the chills and hot flashes.

Someone told me that the halfway point of winter is in ten days.  I almost punched them.  It's not the halfway point yet?  Well pour me another hot toddy.  Or can I just hibernate?  Seems like that would make things a lot easier.   Wake me up when I don't have to wear long johns, a sweater, a puff vest and jacket---along with gloves, hat, and scarf and muck boots. Let me know when I won't die from a 10 minute walk outside.  When it doesn't feel like I am being kicked in the face by the cold.

Wake me up when there is color---flowers, and green grass.  I am done with white, dirty white, grays and black.  Wake me up when I can stop eating freaking squash and root vegetables.  When I can pick up green leafy wonderful veggies at the farmers markets, instead of paying 5$ for Kale from halfway across the USA. I am so sick of soup and  I think I forgot what a tomato tastes like.....

Okay I am done with my rant.  I just miss you warm weather...and I am very close to overdosing on vitamin D and emergen-c packets. I Love you Maine, but please bring spring soon....or at least 30 degree weather.