Pie Tastings and Dragon Fly sightings

The Leaves this last week have turned from intense bright yellows, oranges, and reds--- to a more muted tone. It's this time of year that starts to give me some real anxiety (which is not anything new if you know me).... It is so incredibly beautiful out, and the air is perfect and the colors are amazing...but yet I start getting freaked out that snow is right around the corner...and a very long winter. I've caught myself more than once telling Ellery that I wish it could be like this all year, and never change. I guess if i wanted to beat the seasons, I should be living somewhere else. However- I think the reason I love Maine so much is because of the seasons--- you really earn your sort of spring/summer, and fall because you go through about 5 months of winter!

Anyway in other news- I had a Pie Tasting last week at THE CAVE in Brooklin- a fantastic wine, cheese, and chocolate shop that I use to work at. My friend Laura so generously let me have Pies and cakes out for sample to get the word out about SARAHNDIPITY PIES AND BAKED GOODS.
On the menu: Pumpkin Pie with a Chocolate Ganache (see picture), Apple-Raspberry Pie, Plum Torte, Flour less Chocolate Cake with a chocolate ganache, Bacon-Blue Cheese-Leek Quiche and Bucklyn Coffee Cake cookie bars. It went really well, and I'm really hoping I get loads of Pie orders for Thanksgiving!

Yesterday Ellery and I went for a hike in Cape Rosier (the prettiest place on earth)--- we found a pretty cool trail that led us down to a pond that beavers had taken over. We decided to take a nap in the sun and all of a sudden tons of Dragon Flys were landing all over us. They were beautiful reds and blues. I get a real kick out of moments in life like this. A seamlessly normal sort of day that really just lifts my spirits.... I know there are many perks about living in the city- but really I totally appreciate being a country girl in these moments. It's doubtful you would get to take a nap by your husband next to a beautiful pond on the waning days of fall and have these beautiful jeweled creatures land on you. Someone remind me of this in a few months when I'm complaining about the snow.

Cheers for now. -Sarah

It's been awhile

It's been quite sometime since the last time I blogged. Lots of things have happened. For one we bought a house in May, and than two weeks ago Ellery and I got married!
It was a blast, and I am so incredibly happy with every single second of it. I am so lucky to have such amazing friends and family and a beautiful area to live in that made the day amazing.

However two weeks later and I'm sort of still feeling a bit of the post-nuptial blues. Not in any way related to my love for Ellery or regretting being married. Just general blues, let down that comes from having a HUGE event in your life be over, and resuming normal life. I think you expect things to be gigantically different once your married- like all of a sudden things are suppose to be exciting and adventurous and all that fairy tale stuff. Truth is after the honeymoon, life resumes. You walk the dog, you go to work, come home cook dinner, (and in our case continually work on the new house), and than you go to bed. Nothing is that different. Life goes on. Also friends/family seem to want to avoid you after the big event is over....like they fear they are interrupting a very important part of your life. Truthfully I have been sort of a hermit- we haven't seen many people since the wedding. However I would just love it if someone wanted to do something and chat. I could use a distraction.
I've been baking a lot of course to pass the blues. Blackberry Apple Pie, Plum Torte, Upside down cakes, Homemade Mayonnaise, Pesto, Chocolate Chip Pancakes. My husband thinks I'm trying to fatten him up. Really I just love to bake.
I've started a Pie Business- Sarahndipity Pies- it's off to a slow start but I'm hoping someday it will take off, and I can just work for myself instead of working for others. I dream up Pies and Cakes during mundane activities--- i think of different flavor combinations before bed and when i get up in the morning. It's sort of an issue. haha.

Despite my post-nuptial blues I do have this deep appreciation for my husband (and I love saying my husband). Ellery is the single person in this world who gets me. He makes me laugh when I'm feeling like crap, even if I really don't want to laugh. He gets me excited for things ahead in life. He reminds me that our wedding was just one day- and the best is yet to come. I adore my husband. And I am so lucky to have met my soul-mate and be married to him. So eventually I will get over these blues (maybe if this awful rain would end!!), and we will have a hundred events to look forward to over the course of our lives. Till the next one, I think I will go bake a Pie.

I stopped crossing days off the calender

I am a little OCD---With more things then one as I have informed you before. My constant thing for the last few years has been crossing days off the calender every evening before I went to bed. It was like I was continuely waiting for some huge event to arrive- and by crossing days off it might suddenly appear!

Well I can say now that I no longer cross days off- (okay a make a tiny little triangle in the corner but still!)......this is because something huge event has finally happened.....I am ENGAGED! As of New Year's Eve- I'm sort of still on a high about it. Although a funny thing happened a week after where I started realizing that all the things I thought I DIDN'T have going on in life---well come to find out I do. We are planning a wedding for the fall, My Fiance (weird to say) is becoming partner in his business, and we are still looking to buy a house hopefully by summer if the right one comes along. 2011 seems to have some pretty spectacular things going on so far. (That's right 2010--take that you complete asshole of a year!....okay now I've probably jinxed myself.)

However me being me I must admit I'm COMPLETELY overwhelmed when I start to think about all of it. Everything I thought I wouldn't have for years might very well happen within a year or less? There's been a few anxiety attacks- a few small hyperventilating periods....but mainly I'm still very excited for this year. And thank god I have amazing friends and family who are willing and able to put up with me through all of this and help me out....(Thank you thank you thank you.)

In food news I have become quite the expert on the following:

Pear Upside Down Cake (Cooks.com has a great recipe- but I use cream instead of Milk)

And Quiche----try this one out: Bacon, Blue Cheese, Shallot--- or Sun-dried Tomato, Red Onion- Parm.

Basic Quiche:
6 Eggs
4 cups Half and Half (or Milk if you want less fat)
pinch salt and Pepper

*Whisk together the above ingrediants

Prepare whatever filling you are going to use---anything in the fridge really will work as long as you have some cheese in there I think that's key!

Add filling to pie crust- then add egg mixture.

Bake at 350-375 for about 45 minutes. Takes less or more time depending on stove. So good!

Oh the Holidays.

I returned to my apartment at 8:30 last night after 30+ hours straight with my family- and then a brief two hours with some friends at the pub (much needed). As soon as I walked into my own house and curled up on the couch with Puff Cat I felt soo much more relaxed- like I had survived an intense event or something.

I adore my family- I really do. It's just that I require a lot of space to be myself in. I have odd habits that they don't really understand. Such as if I don't go for a walk at least once a day I will literally explode in anger and aggression. It's not so much about the exercise (although I do need it after all the holiday treats and dinners etc.....)- it's just about me needing my own time away. I'm also a time schedule freak---- I eat at certain times of the day, I do things in order. Okay I admit it I'm a bit OCD. In fact after opening presents yesterday I was counting down the hours till I could go organize my house without anyone being around me. Does this make me an introvert?

Okay maybe I should save the self-analyzing till New Year's eve when I make all my crazy resolutions that most of the time I can never keep.

Here are the highlights of Christmas with the family:

1. Baked Stuffed Lobster (see pic above)

2. It's a Wonderful Life- although it took me a little over 24 hours to finally finish it---there's just something about that ending that always gets to me- makes me feel grateful despite my constant bitching.

3. Watching my sister and parents open there presents from me.

4. Watching my dad unwrap a present that he got from himself (a toy that hovers above your hands)--- minutes before my mom handed him the same present that she had been saving to give him as a surprise. You had to be there but I saw the rage flash in my mothers eyes and the look in my fathers face that he had done something wrong way before it all went down. But ohhhh so amusing haha--- Plus I got the extra toy!

5. Beers at the Pub with our friends that we now have a tradition of meeting up with on Christmas.

6. Christmas Eve walking through the woods alone with my parents dog. Snow covered ground and trees- sun shining bright. There was this one moment where I felt good- and I also felt my Maam looking down at me smiling. I often think of her when I'm walking alone somewhere beautiful- I feel like she is walking with me- and Ill just look up under a snow covered tree and whisper a simple I love you- and it makes me feel like I haven't lost her but that she is just there. And I believe she is-- as I believe any loved one is if you can recall them in truly beautiful moments.

7. Returning home to my wonderful cats. Putting in "My so-called life" and eating a chunk of delicious bread before retiring to sleep.

I hope everyone had a fabulous Christmas. I'm sort of happy it's over- like my boyfriend said---now that part of my brain that was spent worrying about gifts and such can be used for something more useful. Cheers!

When light leaves the day to soon

I find myself throwing things. Swearing more- smiling less. I give inanimate objects evil looks and shake my fist at my animals. I want to walk my anger away but i only last 30 mins in the bitter cold and it pisses me off. Just a month or two ago I was hopeful for life. A house soon? Perhaps a family down the road? Now I find I'm just so angry that everything is on delay. I'm angry I lack control. Most of all I'm angry at death for taking people I love away- people that could of helped me out of this hole I'm climbing into.

I know in the back of my mind that this is just me against the lack of light, against the winter months, against the seasonal depression that always kicks in. No amount of Vitamin D seems to strengthen my immunity to it. It just happens- and I need to except it.

I should take up a hobby I'm told. I bought yarn last week and some knitting needles- but I looked up how to do it online and threw the needles and yarn away from me after a minute. Have I mentioned I lack patience also? I think about painting then this voice tells me why bother.

I have to snap out of this before I get to deep I'm well aware. I remind myself of: warm days on Macmahan island, landscaping by the ocean, walks along the beach, ice cream cones melting in my hand, friends that I haven't seen in months. I remind myself to be hopeful for the future- winter doesn't last forever- and there are always things ahead to look forward to.


A poem I wrote this morning:

"Alarmed by the shadow of movement on the wall.
I realized it was just my reflection-
This did not comfort me as it should."

Thanksgiving recap and a little Poem.

Thanksgiving has come and gone- I barely remember it because it was filled with such hectic scheduling and lots of family and food. Spent some time with my family that I haven't seen in months...and then headed up the road an hour to Ellery's familys thanksgiving.
Pie contests at both- I came in second (a triple layer Chocolate Cheesecake beat me out!) with my Pecan/Pumpkin/Cream Cheese Pie. And there was no determined winner at Ellery's.

After all the crazyness with Thanksgiving weekend (including a funeral-more on that later) I declare that I will not get stressed out about Christmas- and have already finished most of my shopping in hopes that I can go down to my parents for Christmas Eve/Day and just enjoy my family (until they drive me insane:))


I leave you with my first attempt at some poetry--My brain works to much when it's just me in the bakery in the morning and I get a ten minute break to eat some oatmeal or a muffin:

An Ode to a Tree Better off left alone~

5:30 Am.

I sit starting through the glass of the bakery window at the White Light decorated Bare Trees outside.
Leaves gone. Color gone. So we replace it with Artificial color.
Does the tree feel better about itself now? Or would it rather be resting? Now maybe it feels like it must put on a show: "Look at Me!" "Look at Me!" it's forced to shout.
When it would rather be quiet and bare for a few months until Spring when buds will appear like tiny flowers all over it's thought to be life-less body.

Baking rantings on an early Sunday Morning

"I'm conjuring, not baking, creating pastry spells for your every ailment. So don't be offended if I still can't offer you a hug or even a smile as a gesture of warmth, but please take this little pastry. It embodies my goodness and kindness, together as one tasty treat"- Confections of a Closet Master Baker

I'm reading the above fabulous book (Confections of a Closet Master Baker) and I'm sort of obsessed. It's actually by Sandra Bullock's sister: Gesine. But don't let that stop you from reading it.....it's really not anything like you would expect. It pretty much reads like my schedule of life every working day- and makes me feel happy to be baker besides the incredible lousy pay and ridiculous hours.

I know I've become obsessed with all things having to do with baking lately---I work 3am-11am elbows deep in cookie dough and pie crust. And then I come home and click through food blog after food blog (my favorite being: joythebaker)----then I go to the library and pick up such things as Cooking Light or Bon Appetit magazine and read recipe after recipe about pies and cakes etc etc etc. I can't stop myself- and then I make such things as Pumpkin bread with cranberries, pecans, and apples in it and watch people eat it seeing the delight in their taste buds.
I wish I could say that I don't think about food constantly but I do---- I think about how to create such things as Peanut Butter Jam thumbprints or Coffee infused Hermit bars and I get this happy rush. How will I ever be able to not be working this type of job? Can I give back my Marine Bio degree and not pay my loans so I can open up a bakery? Oh how wonderful that would be.

Okay so sorry for the rant folks- but its 6:30 am on a Sunday and I have been awake since 5am- thinking about what I'm baking for thanksgiving. I might have an illness. Have a good day all.