After a late summer storm.....

I walked along the rain drenched road after a late summer storm...trusty black lab by my side. My thoughts started to wonder about baking and businesses and family....Started out so simply with a new pie idea as I walked casually along...the road got darker thick with woods...I spotted a dead snake and a smushed frog.. and just like that my mind took off to some cold recess of my mind.

I started to think of things lost and things not finished. I moped about until there it was.... the beautiful ocean around the bend.

My mood improved but not totally.....Sometimes when I see things so beautiful like an old white farmhouse in a huge field with bright yellow flowers I get so completely overtaken with a cross of sadness and happiness. I started to get that oh so familiar feeling of ease and unease or feeling happy in my skin and wanting to crawl out of it all at once...loving where I am and wanting to be somewhere else.

I started missing...and I think its always a someone but its not...its a combination of every person I miss...every person I miss along my walk of life...

And you all start walking beside me in this long line that spreads across the rain soaked road, and up into the woods and down to the beach....we all are silent and just look at one another, and look at the water and nod in approval.....And I begin to feel comforted by this...that everyone is with me but I don't have to talk...that you are all there beside me...all enjoying this beautiful state even if you are not in it....

I walk around the bend and I see this field full of flowers starting to fade and bright bushes and thick with thorns, with the ocean peaking out in the distance...and then suddenly everyone is gone and I realize this is it. This is how I feel so often...like a thicket overlooking the water....bright and colorful but dark and lost...